the way i used to feel all the time.. it's starting to come back. i thought i was past all of this. i thought i was ok.. but i'm not. i refuse to let myself hit rock bottom again. a person should only do that once in their life. Twice is not ok.
I don't wanna feel like this. I'm getting married in three months. i should be the happiest person alive. and don't get me wrong, he's my word and i would never want anyone else, but i'm so lonely.
i feel like no one wants me. like all anyone knows me for is the stuff i've messed up.
i'm more than that. i'm more than the stupid mistakes i've made in the past. i'm more than the crap i've f*cked up. but no one remembers the good stuff i've done. no one remembers the good things i've done for people, and how i stood up for them and was there when everyone else decided to walk away. no one cares about that. everyone just remembers the bad.
i'm sure this is just a phase. this is just me throwing myself a pity party. and i'll live.
i always do.
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